we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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