So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
