sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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