In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
