hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I'm really busy with my period
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