So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
