Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
