Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
