I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I have aggressive nipples.
i think i just lost a toe
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
