Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize