Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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