I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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