You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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