isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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