toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She said her name was "party"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
