How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
