kristin has been a bad kristin
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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