Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize