I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
