look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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