I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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