maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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