Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
