so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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