Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
