my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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