Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
