When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
