I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
