oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize