I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Still dying that you shit outside
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
