I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I feel great
I just peed on a car
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just pee around me
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
