at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
