so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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