My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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