Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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