last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
