at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
