wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
