Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
There are leaves in my underwear?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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