My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
