it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Bring me that man meat
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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