your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
