Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
