I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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