I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
