i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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