just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i drank out of a bidet.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
