I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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