I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
