totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
