Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
