Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life