Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.