I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
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walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
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dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.