If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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