I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
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