I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
