She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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