Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds

(404): View more from Georgia

She started it, but I totally finished it.

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(515): View more from Iowa

if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am

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(765): View more from Indiana

my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.

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(817): View more from Texas

idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on

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(408): View more from California

You make shower sex sound like waterboarding

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(828): View more from North Carolina

You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...

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(417): View more from Missouri

Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.

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(330): View more from Ohio

He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...

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