i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize