so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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