I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
