I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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